Sometimes, men just make you extremely angry...and you swelter in it for several days, giving him those mocking, angery dagger eyes. We can slip in sly insults, complain in our live journals or rant aloud to friends.
One, quick way that will help you feel better is to do this: Put that knowing smile on your, look your hearty girl friend in the eye and say, "Well, he's just another stupid, oblivious male. Ah well." And have a good chuckle.
I'm sure they feel the same way about us...and laughter does help in situations of frustration, anger or sadness. So just laugh, laugh at the dumb men that think they know it all.
There is no true love between a couple. I guess thats one thing we should all come to terms with.
This site hasn't been updated in a while...I guess there hasn't been much of anything to post about. I don't know much about relationships...and what I do know is all the negative aspects of them because I've never been in a really good one. On some days I feel like it would be fine to be single for the rest of my life, and taking on no lovers or boyfriends...and then other days I find myself wondering if that marriage plan would work...and then I'm kicking myself, mentally of course. Marriage is...one of those things thats good and bad. I don't know what to think about it. Anyways...thats all there is for now...
yeah so it turns out this guy has like me for quite a bit... but I really just can't date/go out with him... I can't go out with someone if I don't at least find them a little bit attractive I feel really shallow because of it... at first I guess I liked him or thought I did... or tried to convince myself because he's the first in a nonexistant line of guys that like me... and then I realized I was just settling because I thought no one else will ever go out with me... but I can't do that to him... cause that means he can do better then me too... why am I so fucking noble?
Don't judge what you do not know and do not understand. Many people seem to think they know what love is, when infact...they probably do not. Oh, there are many levels to love, various degrees...feelings. But people seldom look at the bigger picture and perhaps thats why there are so many divorces today.
What has happened to me? I've become a bitter person, untrusting of love...How does this happen to a soul that had believed so strongly in love on all levels? Life. I don't think it would be right to label these occurences as evils, unless they're considered as many of life's evils. But no demon changed my mind, no evil creature or person warped my perception...it was my brain, and its response to many different situations.
I've always felt I knew what love was...even after my first disasterous relationship. And no, that isn't being melodramatic...it was a disaster, a well learned one needless to say. But in anycase, love isn'y about physical attraction...oh, it might begin with physical attraction as the first step...but that isn't what love is. A person becomes their most beautiful when you do love them, not before you love them. It isn't about expectations...its about giving, and accepting the person as they are with love. If you go into a relationship just to change the person to what you would think make them live a better life, you're efforts and love are in vain. It will not work.
The best way to learn what love is, is to experience it...not to look for it, to let it come to you. It probably won't be true love in the first relationship...people go through romantic insterests and people like socks...and sometimes, it won't work the first time with the same person, but on the second attempt you realize that this is it. Just don't settle for an exception to the rule, your rules...and don't allow yourself to be an exception. Just be yourself.
...and don't let your sour experiences turn you bitter...love is a beautiful thing, and you can't appreiciate it with a bitter heart.
Its the time of month where I wish I was a male...rather then a female. It doesn't seem fair that we go through the menstration crap and they don't, they only get to deal with out irregular mood swings and groaning from the pain inside of stomachs...which sometimes feels like a fist grabbing and twisting your uterus in the most, unpleasent way. *twitches a bit* I can't even imagine what it might feel like to have a child...and am once again seeing the adoption option as a glowing, beautiful halo on the future horizion.
...and now I'm munching on cheez-its like there's no tomorrow...at least they're crackers, and cheeseish! Woot!
Today has been an extremely emotionally confusing day...waking up extremely happy, crashing down into tears after a bad conversation with my sister, flowing momentarily with anger before dropping into apathy...and then walking blindly in the drizzle...then returning and becoming happy once again, only to talk and get all sentimental...and sensitive...then to annoyance, and now...blaaah. I feel like a gigantic mess of human.
I saw him today, a young man with wild hair and a reckless attitude that stole the breath right out of the air, and straight from my lungs. My hazel eyes, golden in the day light couldn't tare away from his flowing brown curls and tan trench coat that flapped in the wind, making him look like some man ready to take on the world, to burst into the building with a presence that would make everyone speechless. He amazed me...and I couldn't hold the door for him, or meet his eye...and now it makes me feel somewhat foolish, that I might have held the door and at least smiled, and said, "Good afternoon." To this most fascinating fellow, but nothing was even mumbled, we pretended not to see one another after we had...
Sometimes you just can erase the image of someone from your mind. I'm still caring around a moment of a guy I watched above from the campus in Vermont...he was with a girl, they went to a table and sat...finished eating and left...but I remember everything about him...from apperance to the attitude he gave off. Never knew his name, he never saw me...but for some reason that memory is always so close to my heart. I know someday he'll play a part in one of my stories...Someday.
And so the other day began fairly decent, with the chest welling results of perfect contact prints, and the knowledge that I and my friends would be able to return to the blackroom, able to perform this breath taking procedure that works like a miracle. So we departed our separate ways, except of course, for Tracy, Laurie and I...so we headed to the Union to eat, all dressed as Hippies (though for Laurie is was more of a Gothic look them Hippie, she continually, and daily dresses in black.) We parted, she discovered old friends and my stomach discovered it didn't feel like waiting another hour before indulging in some sort of meal, especially since there would be no chance once 2:00 rolled around with a full two and a half hours of Drawing II and tedious, dedicated work.
Grabbed one of those maroon trays, I slipped over to the deli already making mental decisions about the hummas wrap that was coming. And then a gentle came up beside me, starled me. I looked up and he stared at me and gave me one of the most friendly smiles I've ever recieved from a stranger. "Hello." I returned it with a smile and a hello, and then turned my attention back to the order. He knealt downward, getting a good glimpse at what I was ordering.
"Man, that looks good." I replied in a soft, shy agreement. "Well, this lady here turned me on to wraps, so..." Then he proceeded to order as I released a delighted laugh at the quite amusing, but somehow sweet statement. Giving him one last smiling glance, which he didn't see, I abandoned the line and went to get a drink.
Chances are I won't see this charismatic gentleman again...but that doesn't matter to me. Whether his antics were flirty or just merely friendly, and nothing to read into. A stranger made me smile that day and feel better about myself, even though he didn't offer to sit with me afterwards. Sometimes just a smile and a hello, coupled by laughter can make any girl or guy feel not only attractive, but worth talking to.
40. "Hey, let's meet at so-andso's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.
41. Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.
42. You are good enough to be asked out.
45. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.
47. The "But He's Got A Lot On His Mind" Exscuse: When you like someone, they don't just slip your mind.
52. The "Maybe We're Just Different" Exscuse: Missing someone is a sign of a healthy relationship. Not respecting your need to have some form of connection with him while he's away is not. Regardless of his dislike for talking on the phone, he should respect and care for you enough to call, if only because he knows that it will make you happy.
- I loathe phones...beyond reason, sometimes. But if I like a guy enough I will talk to them on a phone, or call them every once in a while, just because I love them that much. It should go that way for guys too.
56. Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. That's always a good rule to live by, no matter what the special circumstances.
60. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on the little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.
65. He's just not that into you if he's dating you. "Hanging out" is not dating.
68. The "He Just Got Out of A Relationship" Exscuse: He will always be able to play the "friend" card with you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than a far greater expectations of a boy friend. After all, being a "pal," you wouldn't put him through any more emotional turmoil while he's going through his "very traumatic breakup." He's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants.
- In my opinion, this exscuse can be used if someone you've never met before randomly walks up to you and askes you out...and you don't know what to say, because you want to tactfully say no. I've done it...and walked away, having it partially true. But he left me alone, so it worked.
19. You're worth it.
20. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
23. The "Maybe He Doesn't Want To Ruin The Friendship" Exscuse: Here's the truth: Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a "fuck buddy" situation or a meaningful romance.
25. The "Maybe He's Intimidated By Me" Exscuse: Let me say it again. Sexual harrassment rules and workplace memos withstanding, a guy will ask out a woman of higher status if he's into her.
26. The "Maybe He Wants To Take Things Slow" Exscuse: If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediatly. He won't keep you guessing, because he'll want to make sure you don't get frustrated and go away.
27. The "But He Gave Me His Number" Exscuse: "Give me a call." "E-mail me." "Tell Joey we should hang out sometime." Don't let him trick you into asking him out. When men want you, they do the work. I know it sounds old school, but when men like women, they ask them out.
28. The "Maybe He Forgot To Remember Me" Exscuse: Have faith. You made an impression. Leave it at that. If he likes you, he'll still remember you after the tsunami, flood, or Red Sox loss. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time.
29. The "Maybe I Don't Want to Play Games" Exscuse: Men, for the most part, like to persue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one. We know there was a sexual revolution. (We loved it.) We know women are capable of running the governments, heading multinational corporations, and raising loving children-sometimes all at the same time. That, however, doesn't make men different.
30. Imagine right now that I'm leaping up and down and shaking my fist at the sky. I'm on my knees pleading wth you. I'm saying this in a loud voice: "Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be."
34. We don't need to scheme and plot and beg to get someone to ask us out. We're fantastic.
I hope this exerts from that book are proving useful and meaningful to someone other then myself out there. Please feel free to respond, even with just a smile. Or with a good growing feeling in your chest. =)